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From My Heart

 

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Sackcloth and Ashes

Sackcloth and Ashes
by Brenda Wilbee

MY FAMILY moved to Meteor Ranch of Northern California in May of 1962. Back then, my sisters and I were eight, nine, and ten, me in the middle, Linda and I were about to turn ten and eleven.

The ranch was a family-run Christian Conference Center and Bible Camp, the mother in charge. She oversaw her husband, sons, and daughters-in-law, the staff, and whatever wards of the state she could take in for cash flow—to use and misuse we’d learn soon enough. I’d already pegged her for a sheep in wool’s clothes. After hiring Dad to come work for her at a pittance by bribing him with a “fully furnished house,” we discovered the house to be a stolen ranger station she’d had her sons saw in half and haul out of the hills.

Why Deny Abuse in the Christian Community? PART I

Why Deny Abuse in the Christian Community? PART I
by Brenda Wilbee

I'M NOT SURE WHY why Christians persist in denying abuse—in their churches, in the families around them, in their own households.

“Not my church!"

"Oh, but he’d never…!"

"I know him!"

"The very idea," we say, a hard slap to the victim, abusing them further.

Giving FROM my Heart, Not Giving AWAY my Heart

Giving FROM my Heart, Not Giving AWAY my Heart
by Brenda Wilbee

Each one must do as he has made up his mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves cheerful giver."  —II Corinthians 9:7 (RSV)

PANDA WAS MY FAVORITE stuffie when I was five. That Christmas, the fire department collected old toys for the poor. Even though Panda begged I not give him up, the voice of my Sunday School teacher oerrode: "We never give God what we don't love. We give Him what we love the most."

When the Bible is Weaponized

When the Bible is Weaponized
by Brenda Wilbee
Christa Brown, Baptistland

"...the 'trust and obey' stuff was so embedded it was as though the church had implanted some chip in my brain to control me from within. Nowadays, I find it impossible to segregate any part of my faith that didn't somehow factor into the grooming for abuse." (p 25)

The Call of the North: "B...bbbbbear."

The Call of the North: "B...bbbbbear."
by Brenda Wilbee

I BOARDED THE FAST FERRY out of Skagway, AK, to see about a new job in Haines, driving tourists into grizzly country. I’d been coming north for several years as a tour bus driver. The Call of the North had tapped my shoulder.

Normally I drove tourists up White Pass out of Skagway, AK, a small town caught in a crevice between two ridiculously high mountain ranges, and then wound them down into the Canadian tundra, landscapes unrolling into boreal forests and glacial lakes. But the summer of 2014 I’d taken a job with the new company in town but with expectations that didn’t suit. A job posted on our grocery store bulletin caught my eye. Wild Adventures. Taking tourists out to a grizzly reserve. Why not?

Rev. Joel Webbon Advocates for Old Testament Execution of Women Who "Lie" About Sexual Assault

Rev. Joel Webbon Advocates for Old Testament Execution of Women Who "Lie" About Sexual Assault
by Brenda Wilbee

REV. JOEL WEBBON OF COVENANT BIBLE CHURCH in Austin, TX, recently advocated for the execution of women who "lie" about sexual assault—citing Deuteronomy 19:16-21 as his text. “Hashtag Me Too would end real fast," he said. "All you have to do is publicly execute a few women who have lied.”

Conservative evangelical Christianity seems to be falling prey to a rising movement that has forgotten the Gospel of Jesus. 

Author Bookplates

Author Bookplates
by Brenda Wilbee
The old-fashioned bookplate is making a comeback.

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#1 Cover Mistake for Self-Publishers: Fonts For Content, Part III

#1 Cover Mistake for Self-Publishers: Fonts For Content, Part III
by Brenda Wilbee
Font choice has to match the genre. For nonfiction, you can't go wrong with classic. Pull out the tux, so to speak. For fiction, something a little more organic. For fantasy, well, calligraphic fonts work. The thing is, if you don't hit the mark, your title will mislead. . .
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#1 Cover Mistake for Self-Publishers: Font Rules, Part II

#1 Cover Mistake for Self-Publishers: Font Rules, Part II
by Brenda Wilbee

1st RULE OF THUMB when it comes to book cover fonts is no more than two. Why? It’s too much. It’s like reading amphetamines. All hopped up and chaotic and leaves you feeling a bit dizzy. You can sometimes get away with an italic of one font. But tread carefully.

Here’s a cover with four fonts. Graphic Design Basics by Amy E. Arnston is super cool for this artsy genre, but for the rest of us? Our fiction and memoirs? Not so much.


#1 Cover Mistake for Self-Publishers: Fonts That Yawn—Part I

#1 Cover Mistake for Self-Publishers: Fonts That Yawn—Part I
by Brenda Wilbee
Self-publishing has its advantages, but let's face it—the hurdle to overcome is the inevitable assumption you don't have what it takes to go traditional. This may or may not be true, but one thing you don't want to do is look like the amateur everyone assumes you are. First the bad news. You do this to yourself. You go cheap on a cover. The good news? There are ways to cut costs. . .

Orchid and Dandelion

Orchid and Dandelion
by Brenda Wilbee
—THAT I WAS AFRAID OF MY MOTHER is no secret, but I understood her struggles. Her life had been fraught with abandonment issues, unresolved and deeply buried. I seem to have been a lightning rod for her frustation. So how do I handle this in a memoir? When I don't wish to hurt her?

Redirection

Redirection
by Brenda Wilbee
THIS NEW YEAR SEES ME focusing on design over writing. For those of you who're wondering why the change, here is the answer. . .

You Don't Wear Leotards When You Visit the Queen

You Don't Wear Leotards When You Visit the Queen
by Brenda Wilbee
I AM GRATEFUL to be living back in Canada the day our Queen died. There is something to be said for societal identity and collective grief.

When Princess Elizabeth was crowned Queen, I was five days old. Which means she's been my queen all my life. Seventy years. And although I've spent most of my life in the States, loyalty to her has always been a big part of who I am.

I suspect much is due to my grandfather. He was a royalist and took me to see her when I was 7. She'd come to Vancouver for a visit, and a visit Grandpa intended to have.

Hidden History and ADGD

Hidden History and ADGD
by Brenda Wilbee
​​I CAN NEVER LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE. When my father asked me to do something with his memoir nineteen years ago I could have just published it. But no, ever the over-achiever and infinitely curious, I am two decades later thick in the hidden history of "the Wilbees."

If Dad writes of memory lane, I write the landscape. Maps, photos, sidebars, history dating back to 1694. I'm currently finishing up his chapter on Little Grandpa, a real character who, before his life was over, created a bit of tension in the family—and sometimes down at the police station.

I MEET A MOOSE

I MEET A MOOSE
by Brenda Wilbee
"This Could Have Gone Wrong In So Many Ways."
DRIVING SOUTH ON THE AlCan HIGHWAY, I zippity-zipped up behind a double tanker full of liquid hydrogen peroxide. Not so crazy about trailing such a monster, I waited for a straight shot in the road to pass. No sooner had I cleared the truck and gotten myself back onto our side of the highway when another twist in the road took me around a bend, onto about a football field of straightaway. On the 75-yard line ahead, on the other side of the road, a moose. Walking away from me.
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Absolute clarity took over my mind.

Fear and Faith and a Squished Banana

Fear and Faith and a Squished Banana
by Brenda Wilbee

My first memory is of fear—and faith.

I am three. The month is May and cherry blossoms are in full bloom. My mother and father and big sister climb the high, very wide steps ahead of me. I dawdle in the hum of bees and a breeze. The door slams shut at the top of the stairs. I startle. I'm alone!

What is WRONG With Me? (I'm an Orchid.)

What is WRONG With Me? (I'm an Orchid.)
by Brenda Wilbee
HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED how some people can be Mean Girl behind the scenes while publicly charming? Leaving you in a wilt? I attended a writers workshop the other day and there SHE was. Mean Girl with her smiley face a square on my computer screen. She smiled and charmed, and was oh-so-helpful and witty and wise while I spent six hours wondering why I could not function. I couldn't even manage to speak. Six hours! Why could I not get myself together? What was wrong with me?

Love and Succor In Civil War - and Beyond

Love and Succor In Civil War - and Beyond
by Brenda Wilbee
"Moon went out the night we ran away, but all I kept thinking was they gonna find us and we gonna be in for a beating. Maybe they’d kill us. Or maybe send me or Calvin away. Or maybe take my baby. By the time we got to the Union camp I couldn’t hardly breathe, I was so scared. And tears was running down my face. Sure enough, wasn’t two days later when Massah showed up at camp. . ."

Some Kind of Story

Some Kind of Story
by Brenda Wilbee
ARRIVING AT METEOR RANCH, May 16, 1962:
LATE ON THE THIRD AFTERNOON, California’s suffocating heat roared off the pavement and slammed with a punch through Betsy’s open windows. Tresa had her head hanging out again, looking like a fish too long off the ice. Her freckles were turning green too, but I was too sweaty and miserable to bother warning her

Mum plucked her map off the dash. We’d gone west into rumpled and fuzzy hills—looking like Paul Bunyan had shaken his bedding and let the blankets fall willy-nilly—and were now driving north for a change. Clear Lake popped in and out of view on Dad’s side. On mine, the rumpled hills sloped up in waves, thick with yellow grass and spotted through with oak trees, a soft and lazy land I decided—though a bit lonely in the gathering shadows. . .

MEMOIR #3: PICK AND CHOOSE

MEMOIR #3: PICK AND CHOOSE
by Brenda Wilbee
MEMOIR #3: PICK AND CHOOSE
MEMOIR is not autobiography. Autobiographies are for famous people. Autobiographies rely on the facts of a person’s life to chronicle their journeys to fame, power, wealth, talent, and triumph—like Helen Keller in her The Story of My Life. Memoirs, however, use life to serve a larger theme or idea—like J. R. Moehringer in his memoir, made into film, The Tender Bar. The story is less about J.R. and more about his identity, a bigger issue that drove J. R.’s day-to-day.

Autobiography focuses on Joe Friday’s “just the facts, Ma’am.” Memoir relies on emotions and epiphany. Readers pick up memoir not because they care two hoots about the writer but because readers like what memoirists offer: universal themes and resolution to existential crises.

But it leaves me in writing a memoir with two major problems . . .