I'M NOT SURE WHY why Christians persist in denying abuse—in their churches, in the families around them, in their own households.

“Not my church!"

"Oh, but he’d never…!"

"I know him!"

"The very idea," we say, a hard slap to the victim, abusing them further.

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Why are we so quick to defend our heroes? Why do we call those they abuse liars? Why can't we at least pause and consider? Maybe entertain the idea that we really don't know what goes on behind closed doors? Do we really think our heroes are without sin?

A couple of weeks ago I had guests over and—because I’d recently learned that Francis Schaeffer of L’Abri fame had for years abused his wife Edith—I brought them up as an example of abuse in the Christian community.

For anyone unfamiliar with the Schaeffers and L’Abri of Switzerland, it was (and is) a student community founded by Francis in the mid-1960s, described by some as a place to explore theology, philosophy, existentialism, faith; a place, too, to doubt and ask honest questions.

"A kind of resort for the intellectually self-conscious believers," wrote Jane Smiley, who attended L’Abri in 1973.⁽¹⁾

“It's their son, Frank,” I told my guests, “who wrote of the abuse. Frank was sixteen when outraged, knife in his hand, he told his father to never again hit his mother—”

“Never happened!" my friend bristled in quick denial. "Francis Schaeffer would never do such a thing! I know him! Edith was a sweetheart, I can’t even imagine…! They adored each other!”

“But Frank—”

“Franky? Why would you listen to anything he says?”

“Why wouldn’t I? He witnessed the abuse. He himself was abused.”

“Franky’s a liar! I knew him! You didn’t!”

“You went to L’Abri?”

“Yes, and I can tell you this. Never believe anything Franky says! He was hyped up on drugs and into sex, sneaking off with students and staffers! He thought only of himself, certainly not his mother! A troublemaker! Black sheep! Just ask his sisters! They’ve had to disown him! The whole family has!”

She was so distraught, she stood up, time to go. I was thunderstruck—both by her terrible distress and easy dismissal of Frank’s story. I felt bad. Terrible. I like my friend! 

But the full-grown Frank I’m familiar with, not hyped on drugs, wrote in a 2007 memoir that L’Abri workers and staff “must have heard the screaming, and some must have known there was abuse. They did nothing.”⁽²⁾

There is literature to support this.

Wheaton College Archives: “Though his ministry was marked by compassion, Schaeffer was known to display a quick temper that expressed itself in sudden outbursts among his family.”⁽³⁾

Christianity Today: “Francis had for a long time struggled with a plant-throwing, pot-smashing temper. Stormy sessions between [the couple] were not infrequent.”⁽⁴⁾

Walking Together Ministries: “Francis had a terrible temper and would hit and throw objects at Edith. Edith, on her part, would defend Francis…”⁽⁵⁾

The Nation: “The Schaeffers’ marriage was stormy. At the height of L’Abri’s cachet, full of anger and passions, he could go in the space of a minute or two from throwing a lamp at Edith or thrashing a child upstairs to giving a sermon on the mercy of Jesus downstairs....while often cruel to one another, the Schaeffers seem to have been kind to outsiders.⁽⁶⁾ 

The Wartburg Door 2024: “I think I would rather have seen a world without the works of Francis Schaeffer if it would have prevented him from abusing Edith.”⁽⁷⁾

But he did hit Edith, despite disavowal. Francis Schaeffer had a temper that terrified his family—and damage was done. Damage is always done, all the time, yet in kneejerk reaction we deflect and deny. We refuse to pause, to take a second look, to listen to the stories. We let our heroes hide in plain sight and cast our shadows over those they abuse.

But women and children are suffering, some are dying. Men aren’t getting the help they need. We can do better than reflexive denial.

But why is this so difficult to resist? I have my ideas. Next week, Part II.
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(1) Smiley, Jane. "Frank Schaeffer Goes Crazy for God." The Nation. September 27, 2007
(2) Schaeffer, Frank. Crazy for God: How I Grew Up as One of the Elect, Helped Found the Religious Right, and Lived to Take All (or Almost All) of it Back
(3) Wheaton College, Biographical Statements.
(4) Hamilton, Michael S. Christianity Today, May 1997
(5) Richardson, Wyman. Walking Together Ministries, "Frank Schaeffer's Sex, Mom, and God"
(6) Smiley, Jane. "Frank Schaeffer Goes Crazy for God." The Nation. September 27, 2007
(7) Darlene (Dee) Parsons. "Why Would an Orthodox, Gospel, Holy Spirit Filled Theologian Like Francis Schaeffer Abuse His Wife?" The Wartburg Door, 2024.